Exhist or Live

While reading a book today, I stumbled upon another quote that made me think....

"Loss is part of life. Whether it happens unexpectedly, 

or later in life with disease or old age. It's inevitable. 

The best we can do is consider each day a gift and

embrace it fully. Otherwise, we exist rather than live." 

                                                 -Irene Hannon

Yes, death is painful and not fun for the ones who are left behind, but yet...

The person who has gone to heaven does not want to come back. They are having the time of their life and doing what they were made to do...praise.

Time continues on. Whether you sit in bed all day or are doing chore after chore, time continues on at the same rate for all of us on Earth. 

We will see them again. Why wallow in your sadness on Earth when you know that you will see them again someday? Yes, you will miss them, but this is not the end. We have a story that goes beyond the glimpse of this time on Earth.

God's plan for you is not complete yet. I know that my dad was received into heaven with the words "well done good and faithful servant." I need to strive to follow God's will for my life so that I can also be greeted with those wonderful words.

So I choose to laugh, live, love, care, show compassion and patience, and continue searching for God's next step for my life because it is not finished yet and I am determined to "fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith." I will choose to live rather than just exist.

Enough for a Day

While reading my devotions for the day, I stumbled across a verse that started me thinking. 

"Then the Lord said to Moses, "I will rain down

 bread from heaven for you. The people are 

to go our each day and gather enough 

for that day."

                                           -Exodus 16:4

It reminded me of this past year, starting right after Dad's cancer diagnosis. We had to....no choice in the matter.... we had to take everything one day at a time. It simply was too overwhelming to try and look at the whole picture or the ramifications of what could, or could not, happen. In that moment I had enough for then and that was all I learned to need. Enough. We, as a family, didn't need to think into the future. We needed to focus on the time we had in that day to enjoy, live, love, laugh, and breathe. Looking into the future spoiled all the peace of the moment. 

It is not that we ignored what might be coming or turned a blind eye to the changes, but rather we would choose to trust. Trust God to give us what we need when the future becomes the present. Trust God for peace, trust him for love, trust him for comfort, trust him to work it out according to his perfect will, trust him with the plan for my life, my dad's life, and my family. 

Yet the hardest, most mind boggling part of this story it the trust the Israelites had to place in God. They were instructed not to gather more than what they needed for the day, and the few that did ended up regretting it the next day. Rather, they needed to trust that God would provide one day at a time. I can only imagine what the first few days felt like...so hungry and enjoying what God has blessed you with, but non-stop question like "will we receive manna again tomorrow?" keep invading your thoughts. Over time I am sure that it got easier, just as my trust for enough to deal with the day ahead became easier as time went on and God proved himself faithful.

It is interesting the peace and freedom I found in living day to day. There were no long term plans made because things could change on a dime and I needed to be available to drop everything and be there. There were no long vacations or times when I would go without seeing my brothers, sister, and parents, rather we had family dinners, attended sporting events together, supported each other, and loved on one another. I am curious what the world would be like if more individuals decided to focus on the day to day, trusting in God for the future rather than micromanaging our schedules with plans for 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, and 5+ years from now. Lives and schedules can change drastically within the space of a moment.
 
Each day God gave me, and us as a family, enough strength, peace and reassurance for that day. No more and no less. God was faithful and He didn't let me down. Nor do I think that he ever will. So for today....I have enough.

Beauty All Around

Hugs

Hugs have been on my mind over the last several days. 5 weeks ago I lost my dad after his year long battle with cancer. While I know that he is in heaven having the time of his life, I do miss him here on earth. Normal, right? Well, the things that I miss the most are his hugs. We are a very affectionate family, so there are still a lot of hugs being past around, but I have found there is something special in a dad's hug that can not be found in ones from my sister, mom, or even my big younger brothers.

Dad's hugs were packed with unconditional love, acceptance, support, joy, comfort when I am not feeling well, and pride in me, his little girl. When his arms surrounded me, all was going to work out all right. I knew that he cared. I knew that he would fix it if it was at all possible. I knew that he loved me. I knew that it was okay to be who I am. I knew that I could relax. I am so thankful to have received so many hugs in my 22 years of life because I know that many little girls do not receive any of those emotion-packed wonderful hugs from their fathers. My heart bleeds for them and what they are missing.

God, my heavenly Father, knew just what he was doing when he created dads and little girls who needed the physical reassurance of a hug from their earthly father, and I thank Him for giving me the father that I had.

Prompted thoughts

This weekend was a marvelous time spent with out of town (and in town) friends and thought provoking conversations. While we all have graduated from the same college, we ended up in such different places in life just over a year later. Some are married, some are single, some dating, some engaged. Some working in places of employment directly related to what was studied in college, some indirect, and some not at all. The interesting thing is how we all still need each other. We need to keep reminding one another that life is difficult, it doesn't always turn out the way you planned. We need to celebrate with one another for achievements that have been awarded. We need to get excited for each other when someone takes a step toward a dream. We need to remind each other to relax and enjoy the sunshine. We need to be there for one another.

I think that this is how God created us to exist, in a community. Today the world applauds everyone that is self sufficient and has no need for other individuals in their life but I beg to differ. We need that moral support, accountability, and voice of reason to help make decisions when the going gets tough. My friends help to keep my perspective in life.

Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken

-Ecclesiastes 4:12

 I am so thankful for these friends that God has placed in my life. What a blessing.

"Pockets of Grace"

I wish that I could say that I was clever enough to come up with the title "Pockets of Grace" myself, but alas...I did not. "Pockets of Grace" was a quote that I stumbled upon while enjoying a day off of work reading a book by Robin Jones Gunn. Let me give you a little bit more of the contents that started me thinking...

"She used to call unexplainable circumstances such as your experience with your car 'pockets of grace.' We don't control them. We just fall into them, and God catches us and directs us in ways we never imagined."

So how sweet is that! And how true. God catches us, turns our view around, and sends into new adventures. Adventures that we would have never put our-self on. Adventures that are terrifying, thrilling, captivating, and perfect for what we needed in that moment. We have the coolest God.

I have experienced many of these 'pockets of grace' myself. While I am in the middle of a life-changing or really difficult situation it is really easy for my mind to slip into the worry and stress mode, but time passes and I look back, God's fingerprints are everywhere. It is so obvious that I just fell into a pocket of grace and God changed a few circumstances to work it all out like He intended. For His good. For things falling into place seconds, minutes, or days before I need them. For a year following college that I NEVER would have expected or even imagined in the craziest dreams, but to be at peace and full rest in where I am.

To be real

Writing and blogging is intimidating. To think that people are out there reading your work, while you sit desperately wanting to be accepted, come up with something smart, witty or funny. It is an unmasking of sorts, exposing a piece of yourself to the world. What if there is a huge mistake or I just cant do it? 

As I write this, I think how this parallels life. We are forced (at times) to be real with others. To show them a piece of ourselves that we normally keep hidden. Is it because we are ashamed of this part of us? I don't think so. I know that a lot of times for me, it is a part of myself that could be easily hurt. A part that doesn't have as much armor and thick skin as other subjects. So in order not to be hurt or scarred by others thoughtless comments or actions, this part of myself stays hidden, tucked just beneath the surface.

So what would the world look like if we were honest and vulnerable all the time? Maybe we would not be so quick to judge others when we see exactly how many people deal with the same insecurities we have. Maybe we would be more loving. Maybe we would not be so quick to anger. Maybe we could live a little more peacefully. Maybe we would be happier. Maybe our life would be a little more like Christ.

Time to be real. Time to take a chance.